


sometimes the only pay off for having any faith (is when it's tested again and again everyday)

by skyewart



Series: immortals [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M, Post-Episode: s02e10 What They Become
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-10 05:37:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3278726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyewart/pseuds/skyewart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can't even hear Skye breathing in the backseat.</p><p>The laptop is back on her lap, but it remains closed.</p><p>Her hands are pressed flatly on it and Ward wonders, not for the first time, if just touching a laptop calms her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sometimes the only pay off for having any faith (is when it's tested again and again everyday)

**Author's Note:**

> series and story title are from fall out boy - immortals

A slow, satisfied smile stretches over Skye's face as she leans back against the seat. "I think, I found the perfect place."

Her announcement triggers immediate reactions from both Ward and Kara.

Ward turns in his seat to face her, while Kara's eyes meet hers in the rearview mirror.

"Care to share your findings with the rest of the class?" Kara asks after a beat.

"There's an abandoned warehouse a few miles north of here. I even found some blueprints."

There's a long mental checklist Skye's going through as she speaks and that process alone reminds her of May.

Unbidden thoughts of her ~~former~~ SO come to her mind and she feels a lump forming in her throat.

 

She is pulled out of her thoughts, when Kara jerks the car to a sudden halt on the side of the road and twists around in her seat.

"Let me see the blueprints." Her voice is demanding and for a second she sounds just like May even without the mask affecting her voice.

Skye swallows and turns the laptop around, so that both Ward and Kara have a clear view of the screen.

"The main hall is here." She says, pointing at the screen.

It's an effort to keep her hand from shaking and Skye withdraws it almost immediately.

In her head, May tells her that she is on a mission and there's absolutely no time to be emotional.

Later, that's when she can deal with it.

Skye uses every technique May has ever taught her to get her mind back to the present.

 

"It has one door and two fire exits. There are about two dozen windows but they could only be used as entrance points if whoever is after us is the size of a cat."

Skye looks up to find Ward focussing on something on the corner of the map.

"What is it?" She asks, a little impatiently.

Ward meets her gaze and the look in his eyes is unreadable.

It unnerves her, but just like everything else, she files it away for later.

After a moment his eyes leave hers.

"The main hall has railings all around, right?"

He doesn't really have to say anything else, it's clear to Skye and Kara what he's hinting at.

 

"So, I'll position myself in the middle of the room and you two find cover behind the railings, keep an eye on me and the exits from above."

"Sounds like a solid plan." Kara muses, although she's frowning. "You just need to be close to some sort of cover, in case things go south."

"No problem." Skye says, her voice forcefully cheerful.

She feels Ward's eyes on her - again - and shuts the laptop, ignoring him.

The alternative would probably lead to another break down.

 

"Okay, let's get this party started." Kara announces, turning back to start the car. "And if we get out of this alive, I'll get us some pie for dinner."

"Perfect, but Ward absolutely hates pie, so I'll take his piece, too." Skye says and Kara chuckles. "You have yourself a deal."

"Can we hold off on discussing _dinner_ plans until we're done with this?" Ward asks, his voice exasperated.

The way he puts emphasis on the word 'dinner' makes it clear how pie does not classify as dinner in his book and Skye can't help but smile at that.

For a tiny moment she lets herself remember all the good times on the plane and nostalgia fills her.

She remembers how she and Fitz used to tease Ward and how Ward would take it all too seriously.

But then she is reminded that Ward was undercover, spying on them - on Coulson - the whole time and that his reactions were probably all faked.

Her stomach turns.

 

"We're already done with our dinner plans, Mr. Grumpy." Kara says mockingly. "Now, we only need to cross off whoever is after us."

Skye tries her best to ignore the resentment she feels towards Ward, towards May, towards the whole world.

She tries, but she feels something nasty grow in the pit of her stomach, something that is yearning to be released.

 

Words from another life come to her, filling her with even more bitterness.

_Does everything just roll off your back?_

_No. If it helped, I'd rage all the time, but it doesn't._

 

Skye tries to remember the person, she once was.

Tries to think how that person thought rage wasn't helpful.

And realizes how much she's changed.

How much SHIELD and Ward have changed her.

 

Now the rage inside of her is begging to be left to its own devices.

To flow free and wreck havoc on everyone and everything around her.

Until Skye is the only one left standing in the ashes.

 

In that moment, Skye mourns the person she once was.

 

-

 

They arrive at the warehouse just as the sun begins to set.

It's a sturdy building, surrounded by a ten foot chain-link fence, that has been torn down in multiple places.

The setting sun bathes the landscape in warm colors but it does nothing to make the warehouse look any more inviting.

 

"Okay, this doesn't look creepy at all." Skye remarks sarcastically, as she gets out of the car.

Ward notes how she's got her hands balled into tight fists.

He knows that she's trying to hide how they are shaking.

Slowly he walks up to her, reaching out to lightly touch her shoulder.

She tenses at the contact and Ward feels something rush through his fingers and up his arms.

 

It stings a little.

Like someone pushing him against a wall.

They gasp at the same time, Skye turning around to face him in a whirlwind of brown hair.

As she does so, she takes a small step back and his hand falls away.

"I'm sorry." She says and her eyes are wide in horror.

"It's okay." Ward tries to give her a reassuring smile. "I shouldn't have snuck up on your like that."

Skye bites her lip and takes a deep breath.

 

Kara pops open the trunk of the car audibly and shoulders the duffle bag that contains their only rifle.

She possessed the foresight to pick it up before she carried Ward out of the trembling building back in San Juan.

Kara comes over to where Ward and Skye are standing and hands him the bag.

In return, Skye pulls out her gun and offers it to Kara.

Armed with only a rifle, hand gun and Skye's unpredictable abilities, they make their way towards the door. 

 

The three of them are silent once they enter the warehouse.

Each step they take echoes in the eerily silent hall.

There are empty boxes and crates strewn all over the place.

After they stack some of the crates next to where Skye will position herself, Ward gets into position, assembling the rifle almost on autopilot.

Kara is on the other side of hall and Ward watches her as she looks through the boxes, closest to her.

Apparently she doesn't find anything that holds her interest, because after a while she simply grabs a crate and places it against the wall and sits down on it.

 

Rationally, Ward knows that it will be a while before anyone will come through the doors, but he can't help checking them every few seconds.

He's on edge and starts taking deep, measured breaths to calm himself.

Meanwhile, Skye looks like the embodiment of composure.

She sits on the ground, with her feet tucked under her and her back leaning against a crate.

The stolen computer is on her lap and Ward can see that she's pulling up a satellite feed of their immediate surroundings.

At least they'll have the advantage of knowing when to expect visitors.

It's not much, but it's something.

 

-

 

Skye is starting to get bored.

The energy bubbling in her body makes it almost impossible to sit still and her every nerve is prickling in anticipation.

She tries not to get excited but the prospect of finally getting to let all of this pent-up energy out of her, makes her feel a little lightheaded.

She tried striking up conversations with Ward and Kara, but both of them are too far away to talk to without screaming herself hoarse.

Besides, whenever she speaks she sounds breathless, like she just ran up flights of stairs.

So, instead she's been alternating between playing solitaire and checking the satellite feeds on the laptop for the past two hours.

After winning yet another round, she closes the game and decides to check the satellite feed again.

 

A gasp escapes her involuntarily and it's loud enough to alert the others.

"Skye?" Ward's voice echoes through the warehouse. "What's wrong?"

"The feed has gone dark." She replies, simultaneously trying to find out what exactly went wrong in the last three minutes since she last checked it.

"That sounds bad." She hears Kara say and agrees wholeheartedly.

 

Skye is distantly aware of Ward making his way down the stairs.

His footsteps are echoing loudly around her, sending tiny vibrations through her whole body.

But her attention is solely focused on figuring out who managed to get into her system.

It doesn't take her long and by the time Ward is by her side, Skye has found the IP address of whoever interrupted her connection to the satellite feeds.

When she sifts through the files, she finds one that was created a minutes ago.

It's a document containing a set of coordinates, a time and date and two words:

_Come alone_

  

Skye feels Ward's breath on her neck - it sends a shiver down her spine - and turns to look at him.

Their eyes meet and Skye already knows what he's going to say.

"It's a trap, Skye." His expression tells her that he figured out where this conversation is going before it even started.

"Could be, yes, but-" Skye starts, but that's when Kara finally joins them.

She places a hand on Skye's shoulder, as she leans down to get a good look at the screen and Skye's eyes go wide at the motion.

Kara's fingers gently press into her skin but it feels like she's created a direct line between them.

 

Skye is acutely aware of Kara's heart beat and each breath she takes.

She felt how the medic's heart had stopped beating in his chest, so it's not the first time, but this..

Unconsciously, Skye closes her eyes and just listens.

It feels like some part of her has moved into Kara's body.

She can feel the flexing of her muscles, the way her lungs expand as she inhales.

 

"Skye?"

The grip on her tightens and Skye feels a current run through her.

Before it can reach her shoulder and Kara's hand, Skye pulls herself away and slips off the crate.

She stumbles and the laptop crashes down next to her.

"Hey, you okay?" Kara is kneeling beside her and reaches out to touch her again.

"No!" Skye yells breathlessly, pushing herself back and out of Kara's reach again. "Don't touch me!"

 

Both Ward and Kara look at her in panic and Skye's heart violently beats against her chest.

She can feel the ground rumble under her fingers.

"Skye-" Ward starts, taking a step towards her.

He holds up his hands, palms facing her, like he did so often during his imprisonment.

It does nothing to calm Skye.

It only brings back more memories she wants to forget.

 

"It's okay." He says softly and squats down close to her. "I'm not going to touch you."

Kara joins him, both of their eyes on her.

Skye looks at one, that the other.

And the only thing she sees in their faces is worry.

"Just take a deep breath." Kara tells her.

 

Skye realizes then, that she's been taking quick, shallow breaths.

"You need to get away from me."

Her voice cracks and Skye feels tears pooling in her eyes.

"Skye, we're not going anywhere." Ward looks so sincere that Skye believes him.

 

The energy, Skye tried to keep down for hours, surges up within her and she hears the sound of glass shattering behind her.

"If bringing this building down on us will help, then by all means be my guest." Kara says and - Skye thinks she's imagining it - smiles. "But I was really hoping to get some pie later."

 

And that's what finally sends some sense of awareness through Skye's body.

The flow of energy lessens and Skye is able to take a deep breath.

And another.

 

"Pie sounds great right about now." Skye admits weakly, once the ground and her body stop shaking.

Ward lets out a chuckle and Kara's wearing one of her brilliant smiles. "Let's go then."

 

-

 

Their walk back to the car is silent.

Once they reach it, Ward gets into the drivers seat and waits as Kara stashes the duffle bag in the trunk and comes around the car to sit beside him.

He can't even hear Skye breathing in the backseat.

The laptop is back on her lap, but it remains closed.

Her hands are pressed flatly on it and Ward wonders, not for the first time, if just touching a laptop calms her.

 

He's worried.

Which is probably the understatement of the century, but there's a nasty feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Ward wants to discuss the message, wants to tell Skye that there's no way in hell she goes to meet them alone.

But he also know it will be in vain.

Something is eating her up and being followed is just putting her under more stress.

 

Not knowing who is after them or why is making him feel helpless.

Ward hates feeling like that.

It reminds him of constant darkness, of not knowing when and if he'll ever see the light of day again.

With a sigh, he starts the car and drives them back onto the highway.

 

-

 

By the time they find a halfway decent motel, Skye is fast asleep and Kara is trying to stifle another yawn.

Their plan turned out to be a bust and now their only choice to face down their follower is to send Skye to meet them alone.

While Ward checks them in, Kara tries to wake Skye.

This time, she decides not to touch her.

Partly because she doesn't want her heart to explode, but mostly because there's no need to unsettle Skye.

 

It takes a while, but Skye finally blinks sleepily up at her.

"Where are we?"

"Somewhere on the Texas-New Mexico-Border." Kara states simply.

With a nod, Skye sits up, rubbing her eyes and reaching for the laptop, that slipped onto the seat beside her while she slept.

 

Ward comes back with a set of keys dangling from his finger, just as they exit the car.

Skye brushes her tousled hair away from her face and gives them a shaky smile.

"I believe someone promised me some pie." She says.

Kara watches in amazement as Ward's shoulders relax.

He smiles and holds out the keys for Skye to take.

"Well, a promise is a promise." He replies and when Skye's fingers curl around the key almost timidly and brush against his, Ward's breath hitches.

 

Skye stands there, watching him with dark, unreadable eyes as he gets into the car and drives off into the darkness.

And Kara watches her for what feels like an eternity.

 

Skye's knees wobble a little and Kara's by her side in an instant, holding her up.

Instead of shoving her away, like the last time Kara touched her, Skye leans into her.

"Thanks." She mutters. "I guess, I'm just a little tired after that whole loosing control thing."

With a chuckle, Kara leads Skye to their room for the night.

 

It takes Ward longer than Kara thinks to come back and the way Skye is lying motionless on the bed, makes her worry.

Kara walks up to Skye and sits down next to her.

The bed shifts under her weight and Skye's eyes snap open.

A small smile spreads on her lips. "Hey."

Kara smiles back. "You okay?"

Skye nods. "Just tired."

"But you're not sleeping." She observes cautiously.

 

Skye sighs. "I can't."

Her voice is small and laced with so much pain.

She doesn't want to overstep any boundaries, but if Skye wants to talk, Kara won't stop her from doing so.

Kara understands at once. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

The other woman is silent for so long, that Kara thinks she won't answer.

 

She does, eventually. "I don't know."

Smiling a little, Kara shifts on the bed and leans against the headboard.

"How about I talk and you listen?"

Skye moves to mirror her position and looks at her. "Ok."

 

Skye isn't the only one wrestling with demons.

She isn't even the only one wrestling with demons that are part of herself.

That's what Kara tells herself when she decides to tell Skye about herself.

Hearing about her problems might distract Skye.

 

But deep down, Kara knows that she herself needs to get this off her chest.

She needs at least one other soul to know how she really feels.

 

Kara looks down at Skye and takes a little breath.

"I don't know how much you know about what Hydra did to me, but let me tell you it's worse than any physical injury they could have inflicted me with."

Skye looks at her with wide, compassionate eyes and it makes Kara's heart clench.

"Whitehall had me strapped up for days, telling me that I would be free if I only stopped believing in what S.H.I.E.L.D. stood for and started believing in Hydra. He wanted me stop thinking about humans as individuals with hopes and dreams of their own and see them as a means to an end. His end."

 

Kara clears her throat.

"At first, I could block him out just fine. But he made it impossible for me to even blink and I was in so much pain and he kept talking and talking, telling me that he would stop if I just agreed and I-"

Skye's hand finds and curls around hers.

It makes her feel warm all over.

"I remember fighting you." Kara tells her, her throat closing up again. "I didn't think, I _couldn't._ I was following Whitehall's orders, it was the only thing that mattered. It was more important than anything, even my own life."

 

"I'm so sorry, Kara." Skye says and Kara is surprised to find tears in the other woman's eyes. "I shouldn't have left you there. We should have taken you in, help you."

"It's too late to think about that now, Skye." She replies and feels a tear escape her, too. "You're here now."

"And I'm putting your life in danger." Her words are barely audible and Kara has the urge to pull her close. "No, you're not. You're reminding me of what it feels like to be human."

"Maybe we were always meant to help each other." Skye muses and she lets her head fall softly on Kara's shoulder.

 

Kara sits unmoving, listening to Skye's slow breathing and for the first time in a long time, she feels safe.

"Yeah, maybe we were."

 

-

 

Ward feels an unpleasant ache on his way back to the motel.

He almost forgot about his wounds on his ribs and notes absentmindedly that either Kara and Skye should check them out and change his bandages soon.

Knocking softly on the door with his free hand, the other carefully balancing the take-out boxes, he waits.

The lock clicks open and Kara opens the door for him.

"Took you long enough, I was starting to worry."

The corner of his mouth quirks up at that and he moves around her.

 

Skye's in one of the beds, curled up and sleeping soundly.

He hasn't kept track of her sleeping schedule but it feels like she is more often sleeping than not.

Setting the boxes down, he shrugs off his jacket, resisting the urge to wince as he does so.

"Hey, Kara." He says quietly, trying to sound casual. "If you're not too hungry, could you maybe check my wounds before we eat?"

 

Her eyes widen as she looks at him and it tells him that she's forgotten, too.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?" She whispers scoldingly.

He shrugs, which sends a jolt of pain down his side and grimaces. "Slipped my mind."

With a roll of her eyes, Kara grabs the first aid kit and motions for him to follow her into the bathroom.

 

Once he takes his shirt off, Kara immediately removes his bandages.

He can't twist far enough to get a good luck and they are turned away from the mirror, so Ward can only watch Kara's face.

Her features are schooled into a perfectly composed specialist mask and it gives away nothing.

"So, am I dying?" He asks lightly.

It makes her look up at him, scowling slightly. "You will be, if you don't let me work in peace."

"Fine." Ward sighs in defeat.

 

She pushes and prods against his flesh and Ward bites his tongue to keep himself from gasping in pain.

"No infections, your stitches are fine, the wounds are starting to heal." She says, her voice clinical. "Under different conditions I would tell you to rest and lay back on field work for a few weeks, but..."

Their eyes meet and Ward smirks. "Though luck."

She bandages him up again and hands him his shirt.

"I have definitely earned myself some pie." Kara mutters, after washing her hands.

She leaves the bathroom, closing the door softly behind her.

 

Ward puts on his shirt and washes his hands, too.

By the time he comes out of the bathroom, Kara has picked up the boxes of pie and carried them over to Skye's bed.

The two of them are sitting crosslegged on it, facing each other and wearing identical gleeful smiles.

 

"I can't believe you actually got us apple pie, Ward." Skye laughs, her fork picking up a huge bit of pie.

Rolling his eyes, Ward picks up the remaining box and unwraps his sandwich.

Skye's gaze lands on it, she's halfway through chewing her latest bite, but swallows it impatiently. "Is that a turkey sandwich?"

His eyes narrow as he nods, remembering Skye's fondness for sharing food.

"Do you want some?" He asks and she nods vigorously.

He's far too relieved to be disgruntled about sharing his sandwich, so he walks over to the bed and offers it to her.

 

"Oh, no." Skye giggles - she actually giggles. "I only want a bite."

She grabs his arm and pulls him down to sit between her and Kara, hands him her box with the rest of her pie to hold and takes a bite of his sandwich.

"Mmh." She groans, closing her eyes as she chews.

 

After she swallows the bite, she looks back at him. "Oh come on, Ward, don't look at me like that. I only took a tiny bite."

He shakes himself mentally and looks down at his sandwich. "You sure, you don't want more?"

"I want some." Kara pipes up, around a mouthful of pie and Ward groans. "Seven billion people on this planet and I end up with the two people, who can't make adult dinner decisions."

Skye snorts and when she meets Kara's eyes, both of them start laughing like he just told them the funniest joke they ever heard. 

 

-

 

After dinner Skye feels tension building between them.

It's nothing tangible or overly obvious, but it's clear that both Kara and Ward want to discuss the message they received earlier today.

At one point, Skye figures she can't delay it any longer.

"I'm going to go." She says into the room and both Kara and Ward look at her with sullen expressions.

 

"I hoped, we would do this in the morning." Kara groans, her eyes fixed on Ward, who is visibly readying himself for a long reply.

"Skye, I know you want to go but we don't know who sent that message. We don't know how many people will be waiting there and if they will be armed. We already know they are good at hacking and tracking, but that's about it. You would be going in blind. It's a risk we can't take." He says, his voice calm.

His argument is reasonable, Skye can't deny that.

But there's also the fact that whoever it is, has been tracking them for days.

 

"Don't you think I know all of that?" She asks, standing up from the bed and walking towards him. "I know that it's a risk and that it's probably really stupid, but it's the only chance we've got to find out who's after me. After us." She amends.

She sits down next to him on the couch, softly touching his arm. "Look, Ward, I know you're worried about me, but I'm tired of running away. I want answers and I want to know what they want from me."

He sighs, not meeting her eyes.

After a long time, he says, "Ok. But we need to find a gun shop. You're not going in there unarmed."

 

Skye was ready to argue with him for hours about this and is a little surprised he gave in so quickly. "Deal."

Finally, he looks up at her. "And you should get some sleep."

Rolling her eyes, Skye stands up and walks towards the bathroom door.

"We have about 34 hours until the meeting, I suggest we come up with a better plan than last time." Kara remarks and Skye shoots her a small smile.

"We'll do that in the morning." Ward says and with that he kicks off his shoes and lies back on the couch. "We all could use some sleep." 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kind of feeling like this fic is running in circles and it's frustrating me to no end..  
> I would absolutely love to get some feedback either here, on [ffnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10997012/1/immortals) or on [tumblr](http://skyewart.tumblr.com/)  
> please and thank you so much for reading *snuggles*


End file.
